Passing The Torch
Passing The Torch is a podcast that explores the inspiring stories and insights from people across all walks of life. The main focus is on the positive aspects of leadership, resilience, and character development.
Passing The Torch
Ep. 58: Embracing Change and Overcoming Isolation with Lanae Lang
Lanae Lang is a young military officer who shares her journey of embracing unexpected changes and finding fulfillment in her career.
Lanae initially resisted moving to Colorado for her military assignment, but she ultimately grew to love it. However, the transition wasn't easy, as her move came after the end of a relationship, leaving her lonely and disconnected from friends and family.
Determined to build a new social circle, Lanae leveraged social media and joined a running club to meet new people, showcasing her innate ability to connect with others. She acknowledges the challenges of balancing passions while serving, noting the varying demands of different military assignments.
Lanae reflects on her Vietnamese heritage and upbringing in Springfield, Illinois, emphasizing the roles her family and church played as positive influences. Instilled with a sense of pride from her grandfathers' Air Force service, she was introduced to the ROTC program by a cousin, which set her on her military path. She recounts being grounded and mentored by an amazing leader, receiving constructive feedback from peers, and learning to advocate for herself.
In addition, Lanae discusses her admiration for the character Jeremiah Fisher from "The Summer I Turned Pretty," her certification as a lifeguard, and her views on handling online hate by focusing on advice from respected sources. A touching story about her grandfather attending her officer commissioning ceremony highlights the pride and bond within her family.
Connect with Passing The Torch: Facebook and IG: @torchmartin
More Amazing Stories:
Episode 41: Lee Ellis – Freeing You From Bond That Make You Insecure
Episode 49: Ryan Hawk – Crafting a Legacy of Leadership
Episode 52: Riley Tejcek – Mission of Empowerment and Endurance
Conversation:
Experience as foreign exchange student
2:22 Lanae Lang Yeah. So a lot of people don't know about that because that was before I went into college. It was the summer after high school, and I took German all four years of high school. And then I applied for the program, and that was my second time going out of the country. I had gone to the Dominican Republic when I was in high school for a mission trip through my church, and that was really eye opening, and it kind of just inspired me to want to keep traveling and everything. So when I got the chance to apply for the GAPP program, German American Partnership program, I think most high schools have a version of it. And I applied, and I got it, and it was really cool.
I got to have a girl. We got matched. We got paired with a family, and they had a student your age come and live with you for a month. So, in Springfield, Illinois, not as exciting, but my German got to come and live with me in Springfield, Illinois, for a month. We took her to St. Louis. We took her to Chicago. We tried to make Illinois as cool as we could, and then I got to go live with her for a month the following summer.
And, yeah, so we were in Bavaria, and it was awesome. But it was funny because I had spent four years learning high German, and they speak a completely different dialect down there, and so I was super confused. But it was an amazing experience, and the food was awesome. I actually got really sick, though. I got, like, food poisoning or some sort of sickness on the first day. But besides that, the trip went really well.
It was the first meal that my host family made for me, and it was this meaty pasta dish, and it was so good, I don't know if it was just a travel bug, but I was so sick afterwards. But then I got better, and it was an awesome experience. And it was also in 2018 during the World cup. And so we got to go to all the showings because soccer is so big in Germany now.
ON her mission trip to the Dominican Republic and visiting Vietnam
I have, and, yeah, it was just obviously, like a completely different way of life, and it really made me thankful for what we have. I think that a problem that we have in America in general is we take things for granted. And when you go overseas in other countries, and especially the mountain town that I was in, in Santiago, like, we were sleeping on the floor. There was one shower in the little village, and it was just, like, a trickle shower, and the food we had was actually really good, but it was all just, like, stuff that they could source there. And, yeah, it just made me really thankful. And then I just wanted more experiences like that, and I wanted everyone to be able to experience that. And, yeah, it was really life changing.
Yes, I'm Vietnamese, and I actually got to go back last year, but before that, I hadn't gone back. So I just grew up in Springfield. Illinois was mostly all that I knew, and we had culture there. But I wouldn't say it's, you know, to the extent of actually going and experiencing, like, another country. And so I feel like I kind of grew up in a little bubble, and especially I was homeschooled growing up, and my parents did an amazing job at getting me into sports, getting me involved in church. If I was interested in something, they would let me try it.
And so I had a ton of friends and stuff, but I would still say it was a bubble. So getting to experience, like, the Dominican Republic, and since then, I've gone many other places and met so many other people, and I have such an appreciation for it.
So I got to go back to Vietnam and Da Nang. Vietnam is where I was born. And my best friend from home, she was teaching English abroad in Thailand, and Thailand's right next to Vietnam. And I wasn't planning on going out there, or I always wanted to, but then once my friend was out there, I was like, okay, my friend is already there. This is the chance of a lifetime. We can check out Vietnam together. And she's already been in Asia for a little bit, so I feel comfortable going.
Growing up, who she counted as role models and inspirations
10:10 Lanae Lang This was my family dynamic. It was my mom, my dad, my brother, and my grandma lived with us. And my grandma has lived with us ever since, as long as I can remember.
And my dad builds houses. That's his job. And so in each house that we lived in, he would build my grandma a condo in our basement or something, and she just lived with us. My dad owning his own business and doing construction, and he never went to college, but he started working right when he was 18 in construction, and he became super successful, owns his own business, and works for himself. And I saw the hard work and everything that went into that, and I also saw how he didn't have a lot of time off, but he worked super hard so that my mom could homeschool me and my brother. I got to spend a lot more time with my family than, I think, 99% of kids just because I was homeschooled. And my dad owned his own business, so he would try to come home every evening, and it was great seeing that. And I think I can appreciate it now. Looking back at the time, I didn't love being homeschooled, and I just wanted to be like everyone else and go to public school. But they taught me so much during that time that I now take with me as an adult. And I didn't see it at the time, but all of their life lessons and everything has really stuck with me.
My brother is also very hardworking and very determined and so cliche answer. I definitely look up to my family, but I also had really good role models growing up in my churches, just small group leaders, and we had a really good youth pastor when I was in middle school. Just phenomenal. And just always saw the best in everyone. And he was a really good role model, too. His name is Chris Peony, and he was our youth pastor at Cherry Hills Church in Springfield, Illinois.
Hearing one her stories told from her Grandfather's perspectives
12:37 Lanae Lang Okay. So, in high school, I was given an assignment. I don't know if it was my english class or something, but we had to interview our grandparents or, grandparent figure in our lives and just ask them about what life was like and what they did and everything. And it happens that both my grandparents. Well, both my grandpas were in the air force, and one of them was, one of them worked on bombs, and then the other, I can't remember, he'd be so upset with me. I can't remember exactly what he did, but I do remember hearing about all of his travels, and I sat down with them, and my one grandpa on my mom's side said that he regretted not staying in longer, so he kind of just did his four years and then got out and pursued other interests.
But he would tell me about his time in the air force, and he was always happy when he reflected on his time in the service. And then, same with my other grandpa. And he had a tough time growing up. He was from Germany during World War Two, and he was jewish, and he had a really hard time growing up. And he went through a lot of things, but he did briefly tell me about his time in the service as well. And I hadn't really considered service for me at that point. And it was actually my cousin who was kind of more interested in it and told me about it because we had both grown up hearing our grandparents stories. And my cousin then wanted to be a nurse in the air force, and she's who told me about the ROTC program. I didn't consider it at all. I thought that I was going to go be a wedding planner in Chicago. That's what I thought my career path was going to go.
But I can think of a special moment between me and my grandpa on my mom's side.
I think I was 16, and I was like, that's cool, grandpa. Awesome. You know, but I'm not gonna go that route. But it is true that you can plant something in someone's mind and they don't necessarily realize it at the time. And then a couple years later, something happens, and then they decide to pursue that route. So I know that my whole family, grandparents included, were very excited for me when I decided to apply for the ROTC scholarship.
And I know that they tell everyone and all their friends that my daughter, my granddaughter is in the military, and she's serving, and she's out in Colorado. And my grandpa got to be my first salute when I commissioned. And he's pretty old. No offense, grandpa. He's pretty old. They made it all the way out from Illinois to Ohio, which is an eight hour drive. So that's a lot.
Pretty decent travel. And then my grandpa got to be my first salute when I commissioned and do the coin and everything. And that was a really cool moment.
How getting a base she did not want benefitted her
19:10 Lanae Lang Oh, I can go on about this. I think that they always told us in ROTC, they tried to set us up. Amazing detachment. Amazing leadership. Amazing people. A small detachment. But because of that, we really got to, like, focus on helping each other. And there's something special about a small detachment. Yes. I did not get a single base on my list, and I thought that I would, because actually, of everyone, I had the best chance of getting a base that I wanted.
Because if you don't know, I'm force support, and force support is needed everywhere. Every single base, there are multiple billets that a force support officer can sit. So I thought, hands down, I was going to get what I wanted, which, surprise, surprise was Florida, Hawaii, California, Charleston. I wanted to be coastal. I really wanted to be near the ocean. Where does Air Force send me? Right in the middle of the states. So landlocked Colorado. And I had been to Colorado once for a ski trip, and I remember telling my friends, wow, this is so pretty. I love it. I wouldn't want to live here, though. And, hey, air force heard that. They heard me say that. So I remember my commander calling because he would call us in individually and tell us our assignments before. So for our AFSC, we would all get them together, but for our individual assignment base, he would tell us individually. And so I remember getting called into his office so excited. And I was one of the first people to know, I think.
And the first thing he said to me was, you didn't get a single base on your list, but I think you'll still like it. And in my mind, I'm like, there's no way. If I didn't get Florida or Hawaii, I don't like it already. And then he told me Colorado. And I was like, okay, I'm nature y. I like hiking. I like the outdoors. I like sports. Maybe that won't be too bad. And then I started researching Colorado Springs and everything there is to do around there. And I wasn't upset. I think I accepted it within the first week. And frankly, for not getting a single base on your, listen, that's pretty good spot to get. And I have loved it. I would not have wanted to go anywhere else. And since then, I have gotten to travel.
New friendship from the past 2-3 years and how that friendship came about
22:57 Lanae Lang I was very lonely when I first got there. The most lonely I'd ever been in my entire life. I had just ended a relationship that I had been in for two years, and I thought we were gonna be together longer than that. I got out to Colorado. I realized it wasn't working, and so I decided to break up. And I was completely alone, didn't have friends or family out there.
And then also co workers wise, there weren't any peers. And where I'm stationed to, it was really hard to meet people. And just in my job, I wasn't really going out meeting people, so that was really difficult. And I still feel a little bit lonely sometimes when my friends are deployed or I have three or four friends right now, really good friends that are deployed, and they get back in December, and I'm so excited. But yes, I have made some very special friendships out here, and I had to put myself out there. It was not easy. They did not just come to me. I had to kind of do the work.
And around the time that I was lonely, and I. That's when I started posting on social media, and I actually met friends through social media. Like, it's true that the networking is great through that, putting yourself out there and other officers in the area would dm me and ask me about stuff, and then we'd grab coffee or we'd go to the gym or something. And then I tried to get involved in church things, and I tried to go to as many events as I can. I recently joined a running club. It's really fun.
I also did a spartan race, yeah. Yeah. And just doing those things and actually talking to people. It's easy to go to those things and want people to talk to you, but those other people in that same situation are thinking the same thing. So then I I've always kind of been an initiator and a go getter, and so if I see someone I want to be friends with, I go up and talk to them, and it normally ends up going great. And I've made three or four really close girlfriends. Funny enough, all army.
Boo army. But Fort Carson is right there, and they have a ton of Lt's and also downtown Colorado Springs, where people like to spend the weekends, is also a great place to meet people. And, yeah, it's very special. And we have the same interests, similar schedules, and it really is a good community. And Colorado Springs is also a lot of military. Same with a lot of other areas. And so if you put yourself out there, you can find people that you relate with now.
Advice for balancing passions outside of active duty
26:20 Lanae Lang I'll be the first to say I haven't always been the best at this. On both sides in your military career, you're going to have assignments where you have more free time, and then you're going to have assignments where you don't. And in my first two years, when I was assigned to my space unit, we weren't operational, so we didn't serve customers. We were still building up the delta. And so honestly, we had more free time. And that gave me the chance to kind of work on pr things and media things and other interests that I wanted to do.
NETFLIX crush letter
31:31 Lanae Lang Ooh. Okay. I can think of a few. Have you seen. I don't know if you've seen this. Have you seen the summer I turned pretty. Okay. It's on Amazon prime.
This is the first thing that came to mind, but it's based on the books, the summer I turned pretty. And it is just a feel good show. And there is a character, his name is Jeremiah Fisher on the show, and he's so kind and bubbly and welcoming and friendly to everyone he meets. And in the show, everyone has a crush on him because he's, like the it boy.
And he notices Belly, who's the main girl, and he's always had a little crush on her. And he's so sweet and kind, and in the show, they actually go through a really tough time. Their mother has cancer and passes away from cancer in the show. But he remains kind and nice and sweet and doesn't let it affect how he treats other people. And he's also, respectfully, very good looking. And that is my crush. That is my crush list on tv.
On what her fight walkout song would be
33:02 Lanae Lang Okay. Maybe unstoppable by Sia. Yeah, I actually listen to that when I run. Also the pirates of the caribbean theme song.
Billboard message for the world to see and read
35:21 Lanae Lang Okay, this is. Yeah, I love that question. And I wouldn't say that this, what I'm about to say, is the most inspirational ever, but it's something that I know me and my friends have struggled with a lot, and I struggle with as a lieutenant, too, because you have a lot of people voicing their opinions at you. And something that I would say, and I hope I don't butcher this, but it's, don't take opinions from someone that you wouldn't take advice from. And I think that that's important because people love to be loud, they love to make noise, and they love to tell you what they think about what you're doing, what you stand for, who you hang out with, the decision that you made, and you have to. It can hurt. And I've struggled with that in the past year, especially with online hate or things like that. And my friends and I were talking about this, and would we take advice from that person or would we trade places with that person? And is there anything about the way they live their lives and how they treat people that you admire about them? And if you can't say that, then you shouldn't take, you shouldn't care about their opinion.
Easier said than done. And where I would place that. So I'm a sticky note gal, and I actually put, okay, well, this isn't a billboard, but I put sticky notes on my desk, on my airman's desk, and it's motivational things. So on a smaller level, I would put it where I would see it every day. And then on a bigger level, I guess a billboard or a poster, maybe, like, in, like, classrooms or something. I love that because, sorry, that's not a billboard.
Parting Thoughts
37:54 Lanae Lang Hmm. Parting. Okay, parting remarks. I would say to people, to whoever's listening to this, that if you're interested in something or you want something to put in the work, to go after it, even if it's scary or even if people don't necessarily agree with you or if you would get made fun of and to find the internal courage to go for it anyway. For me, the reason that I've gotten all of the opportunities in my career, believe it or not, even all the tdys and stuff, those weren't handed to me. I begged to go on them. I found the opportunity. I found the reason why it would benefit the air Force or benefit the unit or be a growth opportunity for me, and I pitched it.
Most of my opportunities have come directly from me asking for them. A lot of people don't ask because they think they're going to be told no, and you may be told no. There was a situation, well, there's been many situations when I've been told no initially, and then I've come up with a new attack, a new approach, maybe waited a little bit, and then resuggested it, and then it's gotten approved. And so I would say that no one cares more about your career or your success than you. And so to advocate for yourself.
Lanae's Info:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/lanaeslife1/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lanae-l-812b881b2/
Quote:
“The beauty of the journey is found not in the destination, but the scenery along the way.” – Nina Bennett
My Links
Podcast: https://www.passingthetorchpod.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC04suOPTX3ny_M0aDxmBAXQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/pttorch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/torchmartin/
